The Hand of Sorrow
by Blade Liger Knight
Summary: -He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life. He prayed for both but was denied.- A Zelos geared song-fic with Sheelos elements. Enjoy guys.


**The Hand of Sorrow**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ToS or the song used here.**

Song used: **Hand of Sorrow** by **Within Temptation**

--

The Chosen of Tethe'alla

_The child without a name grew up to be the hand_

To be born as a propitiatory purpose, a title preceding even a name. To be the influence of the church, and the ruling force of the kingdom. A vicious cycle that only the unfortunate were born into.

_To watch you, to shield you or kill on demand_

His mother. Having no natural affection, with only a numb sense of responsibility and an unyielding instinct to protect him. Her death leaving him scarred and lost.

_The choice he'd made he could not comprehend_

That angel's offer with a tainted, hidden intent was a warning he had ignored. If his goal was reached, any other outcomes or snares he conceived became insignificant.

_His blood a grim secret they had to command_

Becoming a tool of blood guilt and propaganda was lost to his selfishness and ignorance.

_He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life_

But he hadn't planned on that inevitable encounter with _her_. Nor the unexplained attachments that wrapped and bound him to her. The time came when his fated struggle was made manifest. He thought that maybe he could bargain for both, however...

_He prayed for both but was denied_

Lord Yggdrasill was not so generous.

_So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed_

A threat was employed, a farce put in place, a bond severed.

_Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?_

For so long, he had managed not to look back, but regretted every moment of it.

_So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?_

Time lapsed. His love for her never eclipsing, but covered over by a satin veil. The faith in his numerous overlords proving false.

_Will all our sins be justified?_

Betraying his superiors was a matter his conscience neglected. But being born... was it really a sin?

_The curse of his powers tormented his life_

Achievement was irrelative. His reward a burden. Bestowed with the celestial wings of Cruxis.

_Obeying the crown was a sinister price_

Life was so uncertain, it was an illusion, a sham that the world disguised as a mere opportunity at greatness. The king's authority was all becoming superficial. Accepting the cost of obedience, only gained him a presence, _her_ presence. A thing desired yet withheld at once.

_His soul was tortured by love and by pain_

Being near her again, hearing her laugh and seeing her cry. He was almost certain Yggdrasill had maneuvered events to take place just so.

As punishment.

_He surely would flee but the oath made him stay_

He often contemplated a lèse majesté against Yggdrasill, but just as the harmony of his ends would not allow for complete loyalty, a rebellion would be fatal.

_He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life_

With a sudden realization, his scheme had unknowingly changed long ago. As though he had been a creature muzzled and kept in check, the leather worn and tattered by a turmoil he hadn't foreseen. The buckle snapping on an unmarked though fateful kinship.

_He prayed for both but was denied_

The chance to acquire her happiness and his ideal had seemed within his reach. But the worlds cried to him, a plea impossible to ignore.

_So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed_

His ideal had become obsolete. His inner vying had switched targets. It was reduced to her happiness, or the world's salvation.

Victims would be unavoidable.

_Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?_

To have made the right decision. It didn't matter at that point. The decisions in his life had been marked and tainted by everyone with authority.

Purified only by _her_. He felt his choice whither as he lay there, dying, watching their broken expressions. His fading vision set on hers.

In their eyes, no. In _her_ eyes, he could see it. He had done more than betray them.

He had abandoned them.

_So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?_

He lay there, wheezing in pain. His friends departed in a sullen trudge, Sheena's agonizing gaze rolling over his bloodied form.

Lloyd hesitated only for a moment, to give is friend a final farewell. "I hope you know, Zelos. Nothing was gained here.

No one will remember you as being noble, just a traitor. I honestly believed, you were born for greater things than this."

Zelos managed a twisted smirk. Lloyd. If this was wisdom, if this was the truth...

_Will all our sins be justified?_

Well, as a final thought, he liked the sound of it. To have been born for a greater purpose.

Not a sin.

He heard clanking footfalls over the metal platform. And he soon felt a massive amount of mana return to him. It was different from a healing yet his internal bleeding ceased, his body regenerating. He suddenly felt an odd frustration flare inside. He wasn't even allowed to die? He shot his glare to the person responsible for this outrage, his eyes narrowed at the blue haired half-elf now kneeling next to him.

"That's the easy way out, Chosen one," Yuan said. "We have more important tasks for you than dying."

_Please forgive me for the sorrow, for leaving you in fear_

After countless, exhausting battles, the day had ended with a heavy loss for the seven friends. Fatigue was unrelenting and a refuge had been provided for them. Though none of them slept in peaceful slumber, weltering in grief, each one of them.

The blue moonlight seeped through the window like a chemical, mixing with the blackness, giving everything a mild sapphire hue. The room was still except for the slight billow of the drapes. The woman didn't stir as she occupied the single bed in the room. Her brown eyes were closed, her cheeks stained and her pillow soaked with tears. Zelos stood there now, not having made a sound. He began to mouth the words to her, his blue gaze watching her sadly as she slept.

"I'm sorry, Sheena."

_For the dreams we had to silence, that's all they'll ever be_

"You were too much of a good thing back then." The cryptic blue environment spread over his face as he bent closer to her. "For a traitor like me."

_Still I'll be the hand that serves you_

He touched a lock of her onyx-like hair and smiled softly when her brows furrowed, but still made no movement to wake.

_Though you'll not see that it is me_

"But don't worry. Things will return to the way they were, and you'll never have to know about the compromises I made for you."

_So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed  
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?  
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?  
Will all our sins be justified?_

He had sacrificed for the ones beloved. He had weighed wisdom with a justified sin.

But finally, looking at her now, Zelos Wilder knew, he had found his repentance.

--

AN: I'm not confidant with this thing at _all_, but I had to try a song fic at least once... I guess I just wanted to challenge myself. (nervous laugh) Please be gentle? Oh and you **really** need to listen to that song. Youtube should have it somewhere... Thanks for reading!


End file.
